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Dating Mistakes You Don’t Want To Make

 

If you’re reading this column, you’ve probably had a few dates in your life. And looking back, I’m sure you’ve made a few dating mistakes you’d like to forget. The only good thing about a dating error is that you don’t have to make that mistake again.

One of my clients met a guy online and fell in love. Unfortunately, she trusted him before she knew him. He turned out to have a wife in another state. He also took her savings and maxed out her credit cards. It took her two years to heal her heart and get her financial credibility back.

Three years later, she met someone else online. Learning from her mistake, she had him checked out by a private investigator. He turned out to be a great guy. After a year of dating, they got married. If you don’t want to find yourself with a big dating mistake, pay attention to these situations:

1. It Looks Like Love

Everyone has some idea of what they think a perfect relationship looks like. What is yours? It’s important to think about it because someday, you may come face-to-face with what “looks” like the love of your life. Pictures are deceiving. If you fall for the picture, you are set up to be severely disappointed. Mary thought she’d found THE guy. Her imagination was running away with her. She was planning a wedding five minutes after she met him. He drove a Porsche, had several expensive cars in his garage, collected expensive antiques, wore the latest clothes, and was a never-married 40-year-old. His family business made a lot of money. It took Mary over six months to discover that she was not his only “one and only.” What looked like love turned out to be a predator of young needy women. His cell phone had a list of girlfriends on speed dial who thought they were the “one and only.” Look carefully at your expectations. “Flash” usually has a price you don’t want to pay.

2. Mutual Attraction Means You Are Soul Mates

This is a major mistake many people make. Before they even know someone, they have chemicals coursing through their brain—confusing them. Attraction does not necessarily mean you are meant to be together. Chemistry is just one of the qualities you want in someone. Before you jump off the deep end, declaring your love and commitment, try to stand back and think about:

• Have you met the family and friends of this person?
• Does he or she have a history of finding their soul mate… over and over?
• Is he or she successful, respected, and responsible?
• What is the pattern of this person’s career?

The facts we know about chemistry are that it can be an explosion of emotion one day, and as flat as an old Pepsi the next. It’s the character of the person that keeps the chemicals bubbling.

3. The Perfect Romance Will Make Your Life Perfect

Danger! Danger! Get out the orange cones! The initial buzz of meeting someone suitable, charming, or appealing can distract you for a while from your own unsettled issues. But when you return to a normal routine in your life, your problems are still there. As someone once said—everywhere you go, there you are. You take yourself with you. The best of all worlds is when you are solving your own problems before you meet your lover. No one has every single issue erased, but you can be a person you are proud of.

4. Getting Mad That The Person You Met Is The Same Person You Met

Once again, this is an area where you can be blinded by chemistry and charisma. You meet someone you’re crazy about. He tells you he doesn’t want a commitment but he does want to date. Six months later, you are hurt or furious that he refuses to talk about a future with you. Can you see your perpetration? You didn’t listen.

Or, you meet someone you think is fabulous but you notice that several bill collectors have called leaving messages that she is late with her payments. You may choose to ignore that warning sign. But eight months later, she may say she has to move in with you because she can’t pay her rent. What’s going on here? Can you project into the future and see you living with this person? Can you handle financial surprises like this?

Basically, if you listen with your head and your heart, the person you start dating will tell you at the very beginning who they are, what they want, and what their issues are. They may not tell you verbally, but they will tell you in one way or another. If you keep your eyes open, you can see the above problems and avoid them. Then—you can be available for the one you want.

Published under copyright by Loveawake dating site. © Copyright 2020. All rights reserved.

 

 
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